The Torture Chamber

Little beads of sweat glistened on my forehead as I sat in the recliner in the tiny room. Around me were various instruments of torture which I suspected would be used on me shortly. My heartbeat began to accelerate. Outside the room I could hear the cries of a poor little boy as he was worked over by the fiendish devices. Poor kid. Soon I would be going through the same agony– hopefully with a little more grace. I knew however, that once I left this place I wouldn't be the same. I would be in pain and something would be missing. Something small, but that I was very much attached to. Above me a bright light, much like an interrogation lamp at a police station, shone down upon me. "Alright, alright! I'll talk! I'll tell you anything you want to know!" I thought. My thoughts were in vain. I wasn't getting out of here until my torturers got what they came for. Soon I heard footsteps walking towards my room and then they entered. Their masks and rubber gloves were firmly in place. The assistant and the man I had been dreading... that's right – the dentist!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I had to go to the dentist yesterday, and not for a routine cleaning either. Nooooooooo, I had to have four cavities filled and a tooth pulled. The cleaning and filling of the cavities was no big deal, but the extraction! Ouch! I kept that dentist pumping me full of novacaine (one of the best inventions of the medical profession, if you ask me.)

So why did I have to have my tooth pulled? Well, because my filling decided to abandon my mouth and take half of my tooth with it. There was no way to salvage the tooth, so out it had to come. Thank goodness it was a back molar or I would have found myself auditioning for Hee Haw!

Apparently, every part of me is indeed stubborn because that tooth did not want to come out without a fight. I kept imagining the dentist climbing up on the chair, putting one foot on my face, with both hands wrapped around the tooth plier thingie, and pulling with all of his might. Thankfully that didn't happen. Their insurance probably wouldn't look too kindly upon that maneuver. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say it took a while. And though I wasn't crying my head off like that poor kid, at one point I had tears in my eyes. Even with all of that novocaine, it hurt! Mostly, at the end, but still. It especially didn't feel good when his pliers (or whatever they were) slipped and hit my lip! And guess what I discovered today? That slip-up left part of my lip black because of a bruise. Yeah, not a big fan of the dentist right now. Staring up at the light brought back memories, bad memories, of the orthodontist (see story below).

I don't usually have a problem with the dentist, but I was a little nervous because that was my first visit at that particular establishment. My checkup last Friday had not been very reassuring either. You know you should be worried when you keep hearing the dental hygienists ask where they put something and then hear others ask "What do I do now?" Yeah, wasn't very confident in that place's abilities. Didn't have much choice though, as I have no insurance, and that particular place takes payments. However, despite a little pain, the dentist I saw did a good job even though I did look like a disfigured chipmunk after I left. That couldn't really be helped since I had half my mouth filled with gauze and was shot up with novacaine. I have to say, that made for an interesting rest of the day at work. Yes, I went back to work. I just took a little drug cocktail of advil and tylenol, and I was good to go! Couldn't talk very well (although this may have been a relief for some and a great source of amusement for others), but I survived. So, hears my advice: Take good care of your teeth, and if you hear the word "extraction" when you're at the dentist... RUN!!!! Okay, it's time for my drug cocktail again. Write you all later (and believe me I've got some things to say, er, type)! :-D