Crazy Texan Love

So, I was reading an article on the voting results in Crimea and how 95% voted in favor of rejoining Russia. Apparently, some fear the new government in the Ukraine which is why they want to secede. However, it was this quote that cracked me up:

" "It's like they're crazy Texans in western Ukraine. Imagine if the Texans suddenly took over power (in Washington) and told everyone they should speak Texan," said Ilya Khlebanov, a voter in Simferopol."

First of all, what's so bad about that? I love those "crazy Texans!" I'm related to quite a few. But I want to know... when did Texas start speaking a different language than the rest of the country? If we were all forced to "speak Texan" does that mean we would all have to start saying ya'll? Please? Thank you? Ma'am? Sweetie? Honey? Babe? Oh, how terrible! Oh the humanity! Have you ever talked to a Texan? They are a delight to talk to! They are very friendly and polite. Their state motto is "Friendship" for crying out loud. They're like Canadians except with guns!

I tell you one thing, if Texas took over power in Washington D.C. at least we'd have a government with a backbone and not afraid to stand for something. We probably wouldn't have so many crowded prisons either. Unlike some other states, they actually believe in executing their death row inmates. Hey, you "Don't Mess with Texas." Plus, they work really hard and believe in getting the job done. So, sorry Ms. Crimean voter, but I think you should choose a different analogy. I can't speak knowledgeably about the new Ukrainian government, but a Texas run U.S. wouldn't be so bad. Well, in my book anyway. Okay, now who all's up for some BBQ and sweet tea? ;-)