Liar, Liar!

Yesterday, I ran across an article on foxnews.com entitled "Liars Club Names the Top Lie of 2008". Did anyone even know there was a Liars Club? I thought maybe it was a story about Congress, but lo, and behold there is an actual Liars Club near Milwaukee (it really should be headquartered in Washington DC, though). Finally, a place where politicians, lawyers, fisherman, and orthodontists can come together! ;-) I know what you're thinking – orthodontists? Yeah, that's right, I said orthodontists. Let me explain:

When I was in the fourth grade, I had to get braces... oh, joy. My orthodontist said "You'll only have to wear them a couple of years." HA! That turned out to be a HUGE, FAT LIE! What followed was six years of misery and a mouth full of metal. The headgear...ack! The routine tightening of the braces...ouch! The rubber bands that practically tied my jaws together...what a pain! Hey, wait a second! You don't suppose my mom was in league with the orthodontist do you? They may have concocted that nasty little plan in order to keep my mouth shut! Can you say, conspiracy? ;-) Naw, she couldn't stand the man (or so I was told). ;-) Anyways, I digress...

You know what it took to finally get that fiendish metal out of my mouth? I went into the orthodontist's office in tenth grade during a routine visit and asked, "So, when do I get these things out?"

The doctor had the gall to look at me and ask, "Oh, you want them out? Well, let's schedule an appointment."

"WHAT!!!!!!!!??????" is what I was thinking. Can you believe that? What did he think, that I wanted to wear the stupid things forever? I'm sure he would have been fine with that arrangement since he was getting paid all that time. But why did I have to ask to get them off? Why didn't he tell me I could get them off earlier? I'll tell you why... because HE WAS A CROOK! A CROOK, YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!

Phew! Ok, sorry, I had to get that off my chest. No,no I don't have any hard feelings at all... Hey, does that statement qualify me for membership in the Liars Club? :-) Ah, yes, the Liars Club – back to my original reason for writing this blog post. A club where the goal of the members is to be the best liar. Wow. What a worthy cause. Because you know, there aren't nearly enough liars in the world or anything...

I swear they'll start a club for anything or anyone nowadays. Well, what about a club for survivors of orthodontia? Where's that club!? Huh? HUH? WHERE'S THAT ONE!? Okay, I think I'd better go try to relax and take my mind off the past. Can somebody pass the chocolate and the Dr. Pepper!?

Oh, by the way, if anyone's interested, here's the address for that article I read: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,477045,00.html

Enjoy! :-D